A Journey, Off-Piste

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Gigi

When we had our first child, we had our lives all planned out. My wife had just finished her 2nd year of medical school. I was a young computer scientist, at the beginning of my career. She worked to excel in her studies. I worked to support the household. And we worked together to create a successful life. The future looked bright.

Naturally, we had the birth planned out too. The doctor told us what to expect. We arrived on time and inducing labor worked exactly like he said it would. My wife grunted and groaned until the meds arrived, right on schedule. It was just like the movies.

But, as Granny Fern used to say, “Life’s what happens while you’re making plans.” And she was right. When our daughter’s head crowned, there was something the doctor didn’t expect. And, when the team of specialists charged into the room, there were complications they hadn’t foreseen. And, when they took my daughter to the ICU, instead of placing her in my wife’s arms … well, that wasn’t part of the plans either.

There’s a word I just learned, ‘off-piste.’ My father-in-law found this word on Christmas day. He was relaxing on the couch. It was that nice, quite period, after the presents had been opened and before dinner was served. My wife and I were prepping the meal, and he was browsing through my dictionary (a present from my wife). He called out, “here’s a word you’ll like!”

‘Off-piste’, he explained, ‘is when you go skiing off the groomed trail.’  It’s used by skiers, but it’s the perfect word to describe how I snowboard. Every chance I get, I head into the woods. I slide off the trail, dodging between the trees, pushing myself to the limits. Sometimes, I discover a little glade – a serene place where no one’s been. The terrain is untouched and there’s fresh powder all around me. The snow hangs softly on the tree limbs and the land opens up into soft rolling hills, glittering like diamonds. The only sounds are the soft whoosh of the board and the wind rushing by. It’s perfection.

That’s going off-piste and those moments are rare. But, it’s not what I thought of when my father-in-law read the definition. It was Christmas and I was focused on my family, not snowboarding. I thought of the life that my wife and I have built together. We planned to stay on the groomed trail, like everyone else, but that’s not where our journey led us.

It’s like that old story. You know the one where a young mother takes a trip to Italy. She’s planned for it her whole life. But when the plane lands, the stewardess says, ‘Welcome to Holland.’ Holland is not where she planned to be, but it’s where she must stay.

My wife and I ended up in Holland too. It was not a part of our plans, but we learned to improvise. Even now, sixteen years later, we still take it one day at a time. There’s no script, it’s not a movie, and we don’t know where we’re going. And yet, my wife says everything is exactly as it should be.

‘Life is a journey, not a destination,’ she reminds me. She’s wise like her Granny Fern. We started with a plan, but life happened instead. And it turned out to be the most incredible journey I could ever imagine. When I’m snowboarding, I’m lucky to find a secret glade off the groomed trail. But, in my life? Every day is off-piste.

And, you know what? I wouldn’t change a single thing. I wouldn’t trade my journey for the world. It’s off-piste and it’s perfect.

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Ignite Me

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Gigi

Everyone was staring at me. The cameras were rolling. Strangers, co-workers, and family members looked on. They were waiting for me, but my mind had gone blank. I’d completely forgotten what I was going to say. And to make matters worse, it was one of those crazy Ignite events, where the slides auto-advance after 15 seconds. It’s going to move on, with or without me. I was a deer in the headlights and the only clear thought in my head was, “WTF was I thinking when I signed up for this?”

It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. My mind raced – for one crazy second, I considered just walking off the stage. But I didn’t. I got myself together and continued on. After it was over, people said I did ‘fine’, but I had been rattled. My words had been forced and my tone stiff. After weeks of preparation and years of speaking, I figured I was gonna do great. I was wrong.

But you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing. It was an awful experience but it motivated me. It made me try even harder. I went back to the lab – I had more to learn. I re-evaluated where I was and where I wanted to be. But the whole time, there was one thing I was sure of – I don’t want to settle for ‘fine’. I want to be excellent and I’m willing to work as long as it takes.

Here’s the thing. I really wasn’t skilled enough to do that presentation. But I tried it anyway. I expected it to be tough, but I underestimated just how tough. I figured it would make me a better speaker … and it did! In fact, last week, I won the award for Best Tutorial at I/ITSEC 2011! That’s just so fricking ironic.

Why? Because my topic at Ignite was the Growth Mindset. The point was that everyone should strive to improve themselves. And I flubbed it! I was supposed to ignite a spark of inspiration in others. But, the person I set on fire, was me.

Me at I/ITSEC 2011

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The Paradox of Donation

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Gigi

The other day, my wife was in the check out line. The cashier glanced over at her and asked, “Do you want to make a donation?” It was obvious she was required to ask, and just as obvious that most people said no. What was the donation for? And how much should she donate? $1, $5, $20? Who knows! “No thanks, we donate elsewhere.”

But this morning, I was in Farm Fresh. I was buying food for an office party and I was in a hurry. The cashier looked me in the eye and asked, “Would you like to donate a can of food?” Then she reached over and picked up a can of corn. “It’s only 68 cents. It’s for the Food Bank.”

Corn for the Food Bank

Who could refuse that? The decision was trivial. There was no ambiguity of purpose and no question on the amount. Just a yes or no. Heck, she already had the corn in her hand. A simple, friendly gesture that connected me to the corn – it became personal. It was a no brainer.

There was no paradox of choice, there was only good design!

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Love is a Verb

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Gigi

What is love? We talk about love. We sing about love. We say love lasts forever and we profess undying love to each other. But… what is love really? Here, let me show you.

This past summer, my daughter turned 16. It was a big milestone and she wanted a special party. And since she loves those BBC shows like Upstairs, Downstairs and Downton Abbey, she asked her mom to put on a fancy, English-style tea party. “It has to be authentic, dad!” English scones and lemon curd. So they shopped for tiny knives, and beautiful white flowers, and those tiny little tea cups.  “Yes, you have to hold them with 2 fingers – stick your pinky out!” Everything was going to be lovely.

There’s just one thing left – the cake! But, not just any ‘ole cake. It had to be fit for royalty – a three tiered cake! But who knows how to make a 3-tier cake? Not my wife, that’s for sure. Course, she could’ve bought a cake like that – but she wanted to put her love into it. So, she spent days learning about it. (I always wondered how they kept the layers from sliding… now I know.) Finally, mom felt ready, so she did a test run. She made an entire 3-tiered cake just for practice (nom-noms for me!). She did all that preparation so that when the big day finally came, everything was lovely, especially the gorgeous cake!

The Three-Tiered Cake!

And that’s what love is. It’s not the gifts, or the fancy party, or even the words, ‘I love you.’ It was the hours and days they spent together, designing and planning, shopping and baking. It was the things they did – it was the heart they put into it.

Now, that party was a lot of work. In fact, it was probably too much work – more effort than is reasonable for a single birthday party. But, there’s more to this story.

We have to go back 16 years, to the day my daughter was born. A day forever etched in my mind. When my daughter’s head crowned, the doctor got this strange look on his face – he was concerned. The nurse dashed out of the room, but soon returned with a mob of specialists and equipment. They performed some heroic measures and they saved our daughter’s life. But later, we met with the doctor and he gave us the worst news of all. My daughter wouldn’t live to see 6 months.

But, of course, you already know he was wrong! My kind, loving, and gentle daughter defied the odds – she fought her way to 6 months, and then to 6 years, and now she’s turning 16! And that’s why this party was so important, so very special to us. That’s why we put so much heart and soul into it. And that’s how I know that love isn’t just something we feel.  It’s all the things we do and how we do them. We love our daughter. Love is a verb.

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Game? Or Simulation?

Posted on December 14, 2011 by Gigi

What is the difference between a simulation and a game? I hear that question a lot and I’d like to propose an answer.

But, first, let me share a story. When I was younger, I used to play a lot of chess. My inner geek loved it! The rules are easy to learn and yet there’s an almost infinite number of possibilities. Such fun! My friends and I would stay late, after school, or play at each other’s houses.  They’d stomp me, I’d stomp them, and we’d try to impress each other with fancy terms. ‘Oooohh… Queen’s gambit.’

One time, I entered a big tournament! (queue the dramatic music … dunh, dunh, dunhhhhh) Chess tournaments are so intense. Everything’s quiet and everyone’s staring down at the cute little pieces on those tiny boards. There’s so much focused brainpower – probably unsafe really. I won some and lost some, and there was always that tiny hope that I’d beat someone better than me. Fiero!

Chess has been played for more than 1000 years! But, I have to ask, is it a game? Or is it a simulation? I know that sounds like a trick question, but it’s not. Most people play chess like a game. But some people are working on a whole different level – when they look at a chess board, they see a complex simulation – a mathematical symbol set. For some, it’s even a lifelong career.

So which is it, game or simulation? There’s no question that chess meets the requirements of flow – it has goals, feedback, and is simple enough to not distract. And most importantly, it has a great balance of difficulty vs skill when playing an equal opponent. I suppose that makes it a game – and that’s why it’s sold in toy stores and not office max.

But, what if we finish the story? We’ll have to fast forward many years to when I’ve become a software engineer. One of my co-workers had put together a casual lunchtime chess tournament. I hadn’t played for years, but it was just as fun as I remembered! And after that one event, I found myself sucked right back into the attraction! Only this time, I was older. And I studied it seriously, like old people do. I read books and bought software and starting going to tournaments every week. I put a lot of time into it and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute (yay flow!). But at some point, I realized that the game of chess no longer ‘felt’ like a game. It had become something else.

And there’s the answer to our original question: it’s about the level of expertise. Chess was a game when I started, but once I moved past the intermediate skills, it stopped ‘feeling’ like a game. The same is true of learning games. It’s pretty easy to come up with game ideas that teach beginner or intermediate skills. Like the Damage Control Trainer for the Navy. That game teaches basic skills and anyone who’s ever played it has said it ‘feels’ like a game. It really works.

But, what about a game for experts? That’s a different story. It’s hard to design a game that teaches experts but still feels like a game. Pretty soon we have an open-world sand box that allows the trainees and instructors to ‘play’ out complex scenarios. Experts need complex controls and they want sophisticated rules and actions. Somewhere along the way, it stops being a game – it becomes a simulation.

I want to end with one final story. I had a friend that played World of Warcraft (WoW). But not just played it, he PLAYED it. Like 20+ hours a week, for years. He was an uber-elite, WoW’ser. I watched him on a raid once and his screen was so covered with customized interfaces that I couldn’t even see what he was fighting. He said he doesn’t even look at the graphics anymore. All he sees is symbolic data – waves of scrolling numbers, hits, misses, percentage of health, and popup text that tells him to start a new buff rotation. At some point, he stopped playing a ‘game’ and started playing a complex simulation.

So that’s my answer. It’s depends on the level of expertise. I can make lots of products that promote flow, moment-to-moment control, and other techniques from games. But, once I start designing for the expert, it stops ‘feeling’ like a game. I suppose that’s still a fuzzy answer to the original question, ‘Game? Or Simulation?’ But you know what? It’s a simple and quick litmus test – and that sounds like check-mate to me.

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